The scene that never was
by YellowEyedSam
Summary: Mary experiences her own nightmare linked to a guilt she hasn't fully dealt with. Set in Season 14; Nightmare logic.


"I should get going," Mary smiled as she rose from the chair, "paperwork and all."

"Oh, of course!" Neal rushed to his feet and briskly walked to the door. "Thank you for coming!" he held out his hand.

Mary took it with a smile. "We'll be in touch"

Neal's face lit up at the news, and he almost forgot to open the door in his excitement. "Erm sorry. Talk to you soon then!"

The moment Neal shut the door Mary dropped the facade and sighed. Poor guy, she thought. So excited about something that wouldn't come to pass. "Sorry Neal," she whispered to herself as she made her way back to the car.

Mary had only been walking for a couple of minutes when a foreboding feeling fell upon her, almost as if she was being watched. Pretending not to notice, Mary kept her pace as she took in her surroundings with a critical eye. Then without warning, she pretended to trip on a convenient bramble in her path. Just before she hit the ground, she twisted round and pulled out her gun in one swift motion.

Nobody was there.

"Mum?"

Mary started and looked behind her. "Sam?" she shook her head. "Don't scare me like that."

Sam ignored her as he scanned the surroundings. "Are you alone?"

"Well, I thought I wasn't a moment ago." She looked away slightly embarrassed as she tucked her gun away. "Why are you here anyway? I thought you were with Dean."

Sam's lip twitched at the mention of Dean. "Dean isn't coming. No one is. It's just you and me."

The foreboding feeling suddenly flared and Mary instinctively reached for her gun. Just as she pulled it out, it flew from her grasp, out of reach and sight into the nearby shrubs. Mary stared at Sam, her breath catching in her throat.

"Didn't know I could do that could you? How would you? You never knew a thing about what your deal did to me." Sam swiped his hand and Mary went along with it, landing hard against a tree. "You didn't even apologise." He clenched his hand and Mary suddenly cried out through the pain of her heart being squeezed. "All you could do was cling to your other son. The one you felt less guilt towards."

The guilt Mary hid so well emerged from its prison, tearing her insides apart as it climbed into focus. Try as she might she couldn't force it back down this time. Not when suddenly confronted like this. "Sam.. I.." she shook her head as tears began to well up in her eyes. "No, you're not the real Sam.."

"Oh, but your guilt is," Sam said menacingly.

Mary shuddered, her lips remaining shut.

"What a coward you are," Sam sneered. "Even in the face of it you still won't admit to it." In response to Mary's continued silence, he clenched his fist harder, this time forcing sound from her.

"I'm sorry Sam.." her voice trembled with a whisper. "Its too much.."

"Look at me and say that."

"You aren't the real.."

Sam slammed her against the tree again, briefly knocking the wind out of her. Mary collapsed to the floor, pinned down by an invisible force. "If you aren't going to say it then you can die a coward"

"No.. please..!" Mary screamed as she felt the bones in her legs shatter as if a rock had landed on them. She watched helplessly as Sam walked forward, before calmly kneeling right in front of her. She managed one little squeak before his hand wrapped around her throat tightly.

"It didn't matter if you apologised or not," he smiled. "You'll still die. Dean too. Actually, they all will. And they won't even realise until its too late." He gave her an amused chuckle. "All thanks to you." His cold, green eyes blinked, and an all too terrifyingly familiar colour replaced them.

Mary's gasp ended abruptly when Sam clenched both hands around her neck, tightening them by the second. With one hand she weakly tried to lift his vice-like grip, and with the other reached into her sleeve for her hidden knife. Sam caught her movement and pinned her arm to the ground with but a glance. But it was a ruse. Her hand around his suddenly whipped back into her sleeve and brought the knife out, and rammed it straight through his heart. The fake Sam screamed in rage right before he exploded into dust.

Mary fell back, choking back her tears as what the fake Sam had said hit home. She really was a coward. She'd busied herself with the British MoL partly so she wouldn't have to feel guilt every time she looked at Sam, and even communicated with Dean instead of Sam, only contacting the latter when she had no choice. Over time, she managed to hide the guilt so well she barely noticed it, until now. Now she couldn't ignore it anymore. It overflowed, threatening to drown her into depression. She knew she had to face Sam now and talk to him about "that".

But for now, they had to deal with Michael. Sam had been pushing himself so much he was fatigued. Bringing this up now didn't seem like a good idea. She clenched trembling fists and swore once this was over she would confront Sam. She swore it.


End file.
